WHAT THE RUT?
I am a quitter. I'm one of those people who has to work really hard at finishing things. Since I've gotten into the fitness industry, however, I feel like my finish to quitting ratio has really improved tremendously. It could be that my diet is a little bit better, or perhaps that I feel that if I can lose 30 lbs then I can pretty much to anything? I really don't know, but I do like that fact that this has been a big improvement in my life.
The struggle is that lately I am just not pushing myself like I used to. I can admit that there probably was a month where I got a little cooky and pushed too hard, but for the most part, I have had a generally healthy approach to weight loss and maintenance. For the past few months though? ACK! I can really say that I am just going through the motions.
I've signed myself up for some races, started a five week challenge, and have written out so many workout schedules I could probably sell them online (because they're GENIUS and just 'cause I have a ton)! What could it be? I started training for the SOLDIER FIELD 10 mile run and even that is like a little fart in the wind for me. HMPH!! I do workout about two to three days per week, but that's just not enough, in my opinion.
Of course there is a lot of science that backs up the fact that working out 6-7 days per week is not required, but my body craves it! I wake up and usually my first thought is, "Thanks, God," but my second or third thought is: "I want to go for a run or lift weights," and some how or another, I talk myself out of it, or lose track of time where it goes from ample time to rushing to get out of the door.
Some big changes that I've done is go through my inspiration folders (especially my 'Body Inspiration' folder) and kind of edit it. I really did feel like some of the images were great fuel in the beginning, but then became the opposite as I really began to compare my body and "beat myself up" for not being as disciplined as these women were. (I know that they are AT THE VERY LEAST disciplined because most of them are professional athletes or fitness competitors, so I'm not just assuming this. I read their interviews all the time.) It would also get kind of mental! I would say things like: "But they have all day to do this," or ", but they have the money for this," etc. All of that may be true, but that's not my problem!
I will admit, over the past two years, my schedule has changed and is a lot more vigorous in a good way, but I hear myself saying what I hear my clients/pupils say: "I just don't have the time!" The good thing is that I've talked at LEAST 100 people out of that statement, so as soon as I think it, I start to look for the time... but that just hasn't been enough.
So the editing of my folder called me to remove two types of images. The first was anything that was AIRBRUSHED. Magazine pics, filtered Instagram pics, tumblr images, all that had to go. Why? Because no matter how I slice it, it simply isn't the truth. The second set were pics that seemed "unrealistic" yeah, anything is possible, but I just knew that at THIS point of my life, I wanted to keep images that seemed more lifestyle-y versus "instant" if that makes sense. I don't think it really does so I am just going to move on. I basically withdrew pictures that made me feel "lust" for things that I didn't have and not inspired to do things my way. There are only a handful of pictures left.
Next, I started a five-week-challenge! You were there! Remember? It was awesome. I got off to a great start but who'da thunk that you could do so much failing in five weeks? There have been at least two, so far, where I've done two, & a possible, workouts. !?!?!?!? How whack, right? Or maybe not? Regardless, it just didn't fuel me like I had hoped. *sigh* (I am still completing the challenge, though.)
So far, I keep telling myself to, "STAY TRUE"! It's one of my favorite things to think, say and do! But it just isn't lighting the fire under my butt. The idea of staying true is that you just do what comes naturally. When you wanna workout, you workout. When you wanna rest, you rest. When you wanna eat crappy food, you eat crappy food (consciously)! So in my vision it should go like this: Wake up, thank God, desire to workout, go workout.
In reality it goes: Wake up, thank God, desire to workout, get on Facebook, think about how badly I want to workout, start cleaning, want to workout, think about how I can do it when I get home late at night (KNOWING that I won't want to do it late at night), beg myself to workout, look at Twitter, want to workout, beg myself to workout again, talk myself out working out, look at the clock and now I gotta go to work, feel crappy about not working out.
SEE! That's the reason why "staying true" is such a big deal! 'Cause in my mind, when you DON'T do what you really want (ESPECIALLY IF IT'S REALLY GOOD FOR YOU), you start to have negative thoughts about yourself and your capabilities! So the question is, why do I set myself up to not really like me for the day? I call that partial insanity. It's gotta be!
When I actually DO workout? I feel so good. I feel proud. I feel so respectful. I feel strong. I feel amazing! I feel like I'm actually walking the walk versus only talking the talk. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm still fit and I still stay active A LOT, but my vision of fitness equals something that I'm just not seeing my own routine! I don't want to be passively fit. I don't want anything in my life to just happen to me... except money & blessings. I want everything I do to be intentional. I want to be fully present and feel like I'm making a change and setting an example for myself and others.
So, yes, I am being a little hard on myself where I need to actually be very gentle, but I have to tell myself the truth before I can deliver truth to anybody else. Now that the harshness is out of the way, and very public (YIKES!), I feel like I can begin again. Keeping things real and true (trill) to who I am and not being ashamed or concerned about anything but feeling good about myself so that I can continue to inspire others.
My goal then, for the next few weeks, is to just do what I want. If I want to lift, I'll lift; run, I'll run; yoga, I'll yoga; rest, I'll rest (but not for more than two days in a row). But the part where the work will come is in the DOING. Not just the wishing, but the execution. With that said, I shall dub myself THE EXECUTIONER!! (watch this if you wanna hear the voice that I said this in, in my head) I shall have HELLA check-marks not only next to my list of things to do BUT also next to my workouts to complete! :)
I will climb out of this rut with or without me. Come hell or high water. I know me at my best and I'd like to keep in touch with that girl. Some people dream of being record label execs and actresses. While I do dream to be an amazing trainer and health expert, I also dream of being incredibly healthy, fit and disciplined! I guess that can be written down as a secret to a truly balanced life; letting every dream matter. Striving equally as hard to spend time with your daughter as you do trying to finish college. Or, cooking great meals for yourself and family, as you strive to get promoted in your corporate job! Well that's what I'm going to do. As I make a grand attempt at a happy professional career, I shall work equally is as hard to make manifest the dreams that I have on a daily basis and typically keep to myself! *HOORAY FOR CLARITY!!*
At the same time... it could just be the weather. : P
Thanks for reading!
xoxO,
MB
The struggle is that lately I am just not pushing myself like I used to. I can admit that there probably was a month where I got a little cooky and pushed too hard, but for the most part, I have had a generally healthy approach to weight loss and maintenance. For the past few months though? ACK! I can really say that I am just going through the motions.
I've signed myself up for some races, started a five week challenge, and have written out so many workout schedules I could probably sell them online (because they're GENIUS and just 'cause I have a ton)! What could it be? I started training for the SOLDIER FIELD 10 mile run and even that is like a little fart in the wind for me. HMPH!! I do workout about two to three days per week, but that's just not enough, in my opinion.
Of course there is a lot of science that backs up the fact that working out 6-7 days per week is not required, but my body craves it! I wake up and usually my first thought is, "Thanks, God," but my second or third thought is: "I want to go for a run or lift weights," and some how or another, I talk myself out of it, or lose track of time where it goes from ample time to rushing to get out of the door.
Some big changes that I've done is go through my inspiration folders (especially my 'Body Inspiration' folder) and kind of edit it. I really did feel like some of the images were great fuel in the beginning, but then became the opposite as I really began to compare my body and "beat myself up" for not being as disciplined as these women were. (I know that they are AT THE VERY LEAST disciplined because most of them are professional athletes or fitness competitors, so I'm not just assuming this. I read their interviews all the time.) It would also get kind of mental! I would say things like: "But they have all day to do this," or ", but they have the money for this," etc. All of that may be true, but that's not my problem!
I will admit, over the past two years, my schedule has changed and is a lot more vigorous in a good way, but I hear myself saying what I hear my clients/pupils say: "I just don't have the time!" The good thing is that I've talked at LEAST 100 people out of that statement, so as soon as I think it, I start to look for the time... but that just hasn't been enough.
So the editing of my folder called me to remove two types of images. The first was anything that was AIRBRUSHED. Magazine pics, filtered Instagram pics, tumblr images, all that had to go. Why? Because no matter how I slice it, it simply isn't the truth. The second set were pics that seemed "unrealistic" yeah, anything is possible, but I just knew that at THIS point of my life, I wanted to keep images that seemed more lifestyle-y versus "instant" if that makes sense. I don't think it really does so I am just going to move on. I basically withdrew pictures that made me feel "lust" for things that I didn't have and not inspired to do things my way. There are only a handful of pictures left.
Next, I started a five-week-challenge! You were there! Remember? It was awesome. I got off to a great start but who'da thunk that you could do so much failing in five weeks? There have been at least two, so far, where I've done two, & a possible, workouts. !?!?!?!? How whack, right? Or maybe not? Regardless, it just didn't fuel me like I had hoped. *sigh* (I am still completing the challenge, though.)
So far, I keep telling myself to, "STAY TRUE"! It's one of my favorite things to think, say and do! But it just isn't lighting the fire under my butt. The idea of staying true is that you just do what comes naturally. When you wanna workout, you workout. When you wanna rest, you rest. When you wanna eat crappy food, you eat crappy food (consciously)! So in my vision it should go like this: Wake up, thank God, desire to workout, go workout.
In reality it goes: Wake up, thank God, desire to workout, get on Facebook, think about how badly I want to workout, start cleaning, want to workout, think about how I can do it when I get home late at night (KNOWING that I won't want to do it late at night), beg myself to workout, look at Twitter, want to workout, beg myself to workout again, talk myself out working out, look at the clock and now I gotta go to work, feel crappy about not working out.
SEE! That's the reason why "staying true" is such a big deal! 'Cause in my mind, when you DON'T do what you really want (ESPECIALLY IF IT'S REALLY GOOD FOR YOU), you start to have negative thoughts about yourself and your capabilities! So the question is, why do I set myself up to not really like me for the day? I call that partial insanity. It's gotta be!
When I actually DO workout? I feel so good. I feel proud. I feel so respectful. I feel strong. I feel amazing! I feel like I'm actually walking the walk versus only talking the talk. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm still fit and I still stay active A LOT, but my vision of fitness equals something that I'm just not seeing my own routine! I don't want to be passively fit. I don't want anything in my life to just happen to me... except money & blessings. I want everything I do to be intentional. I want to be fully present and feel like I'm making a change and setting an example for myself and others.
So, yes, I am being a little hard on myself where I need to actually be very gentle, but I have to tell myself the truth before I can deliver truth to anybody else. Now that the harshness is out of the way, and very public (YIKES!), I feel like I can begin again. Keeping things real and true (trill) to who I am and not being ashamed or concerned about anything but feeling good about myself so that I can continue to inspire others.
My goal then, for the next few weeks, is to just do what I want. If I want to lift, I'll lift; run, I'll run; yoga, I'll yoga; rest, I'll rest (but not for more than two days in a row). But the part where the work will come is in the DOING. Not just the wishing, but the execution. With that said, I shall dub myself THE EXECUTIONER!! (watch this if you wanna hear the voice that I said this in, in my head) I shall have HELLA check-marks not only next to my list of things to do BUT also next to my workouts to complete! :)
I will climb out of this rut with or without me. Come hell or high water. I know me at my best and I'd like to keep in touch with that girl. Some people dream of being record label execs and actresses. While I do dream to be an amazing trainer and health expert, I also dream of being incredibly healthy, fit and disciplined! I guess that can be written down as a secret to a truly balanced life; letting every dream matter. Striving equally as hard to spend time with your daughter as you do trying to finish college. Or, cooking great meals for yourself and family, as you strive to get promoted in your corporate job! Well that's what I'm going to do. As I make a grand attempt at a happy professional career, I shall work equally is as hard to make manifest the dreams that I have on a daily basis and typically keep to myself! *HOORAY FOR CLARITY!!*
At the same time... it could just be the weather. : P
Thanks for reading!
xoxO,
MB
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| One of the best things I've read in a long time. |
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| my goal in life, really |
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| me doing a pull-up! #proof |