On Turning 30

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So I am just a few weeks from entering a new decade of my life.  It's been on my mind a lot because I'm either planning the celebration or realizing how much I've learned in the past ten years.

I must say that approaching such a big milestone is actually much more of a thrill than I expected.  I must also say that I am having a lot more: "I thought my life would look like (x,y,z) by now," moments.  Thankfully, when it comes to character and lifestyle, I feel so fulfilled as an individual.  I am a leader, I stand as an individual, I love my body, I have a wonderful spiritual life, and I am of sound mind.  That's really all that I wanted.  What's not so:  I'm not married, I am making much less in income than I expected (I thought I would be a millionaire by now--and IT'S NOT OFF THE MENU, YET!), I am reconsidering having kids altogether, I am not an executive in the music industry, and I am renting versus being an owner.  Granted those were my expectations at 19 years of age, I still wonder what choices I made that shifted my life to not have those ideas come to fruition.

All-in-all, I am satisfied.  Typing that even helped me to take a sigh of relief because putting it on paper always helps.*  I am looking forward to what the next 10 years will bring.  Although at 20 I was more bold, I feel like at 30 I feel much more sure.  Boldness, to me, has nothing to do with fact.  It's a choice, and opinion, completely subjective to the individual.  Surety, certainty, that all means that the result has to reflect the executioner--there's a respsonsibility there that doesn't exist in bold acts.  And still it would behoove me, in my older age, to bring along my boldness with my certainty in order to create some major breakthroughs between now and 40-years-old.  

My favorite bit to share with my peers of all ages is how funny it is that over the years, since my childhood, that I never believed adults when they said: "your body changes" or, "your metabolism is going to slow down".  It's laughable really.  It's laughable how much I didn't trust that information.  My body is a whole new beast.  My butt is probably 70% bigger.  I feel sleepy or gassy after I eat foods.  My stomach gets full in less time.  My bones seem to always be popping, locking, or dropping at any given moment in a day.  lol  Take that how you want.  Lean into it.  Work hard to prevent it.  Whatever you choose, just believe me and the other 50 people who will say it.  Don't be out here years from now like you didn't know.  Melissa taught you.

Ultimately I keep reminding myself two things (in this particular order):

1.  Turning 30 doesn't suddenly mean that your life will change drastically in any way shape or form.

2.  Turning thirty and knowing that life won't just shift, doesn't mean that I cannot make it so!

I definitely have regrets of the past and doubt of the future.  It would not be fair for me to act like I don't.  What I want to accomplish most is to collect moments for myself and to share myself authentically, more often, with other people.  What I want to do is do more scary things, do more of what I love, and create more things that live in the real world.

So I'm off with my creaky joints and certainty of self to create something amazing, beautiful, and of good use.  Lucky me.!

*I'm gonna do a post about writing on paper in the future.

Bon voyage!

Melissa