okay.  as I inch closer and closer to my 30th birthday in 2017 I am realizing more things about myself.  one of the glaring realizations is that I am not the woman I was just four years ago.  i have a true admiration for her.  she took the odds, beat em, and strung her successes along to build a bridge from one point of her life to the next (which is now).  

a lot of the work I've been up to in the past few years has been awesome and some of it has been fruitless.  the woman who I look at every day in the daytime and at night; I have the utmost respect for her.  she is bonafide.  her support system is real.  her love is loud.  her conscience is 110% clear.  AND she is in a starkly different place than the young 20-something she was just a few years ago.  for example:  she's 20 lbs heavier and she really isn't clear on what goals to take on next.  

should she move to a distant land?  can she really bring that dream to reality?  where should she spend most of her time these days?  although I am a lot more sure in myself and who I am inherently, I have grown to truly trust myself, the future is a little unsure--and that's okay.  the less I know, the more I can create!  on that note I introduce a part of my work as I venture certainly into my 30s (and uncertainly in to what's next).  between now and April 2017, I will do 100 workouts in +/- 125 days.

what this goal means to me is a few things:

1.  my commitment to growing old powerfully (physically + mentally)

2. finally taking on my goal to lose 15 of the 20 lbs I've gained over the past 2.5 years

3. giving myself a fair position to take on the next steps.  i am a firm believer in sweat making life a level playing field.  you see more clearly and no one can outdo their best effort.  pushing myself physically daily challenges my mind, heart, and spirit makes the game more fun and engaging.  i will have to put in to it what i do actually want back out and that method will show up in my life elsewhere and in significant ways.

the ultimate goal is simply to end up stronger.  the second ultimate goal (lol) is to weigh 15 lbs lighter by the time my actual 30th birthday arrives (April 10th).  the final ultimate goal is to see what being honest with myself about an innermost desire gets me.

obviously I will document what's appropriate and what's possible and I will definitely track my successes and failures in the end.  so far, I have done one workout. :) this is one of the few goals I've set that excites me and scares me at the same time.  100 workouts will cost dollars, time, and inauthenticity.  i am incredibly tied to my physical being.  be it because I am an Aries or an athlete, for every bump there may be in my road, I can already call it that a real reaction will be expressed physically, verbally, and mentally if I come up against a tough time.  maybe I'll use this space to express myself, maybe I won't, but I am glad to have said it all aloud to the interwebs as I begin it.

whatever the case, I will see you all in April physically lighter, mentally fortuitous, and spiritually sound.  

peace

Melissa